Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Family Christmas Dinner - A Lament

I love Christmas Dinner
It's quality family time
Everybody is talking and
the laughter's a good sign

Aunt Mo is a Christian
Probably never sinned
But her brussels sprouts
Still emit toxic wind

Red faced Uncle George
Talks over his other half
His jokes are really crude
But they do make us laugh

Madge is back again
I've forgotten why she's here
but just like last time
She's drunk all the beer

Greedy Brother Bernard
An appetite hard to sate
Twenty roast potatoes
Piled high upon his plate

Sister Ann sings carols
and plays the bassoon
She knows all the words
But they're never in tune

Mum checks my cooking
but I wish Dad was here
but they can't be together
It's the same every year

Niece Mel blows smoke
While sporting a moustache
Hanging from the window
and dropping out her ash

Dear husband Brian
sups too much whisky
Winking at naughty niece
Hoping she is frisky

Son Jack is glued to
his new iphone six
When I had a mobile phone
they were just like bricks

Old Granddad Fred
hasn't moved in ages
wonder if he might be dead?
 Undertaker, check yellow pages

I hate Christmas Dinner
Pretending to be merry
I only just keep sane by

1 comment:

  1. Chris has accurately poetised a family christmas scenario. However, as I no longer drink sherry, I would favour a brandy and Baileys. Wishing you all a very happy 2016, and good health to all. Liz